IDontKnowMuch.com


I’m Not Buying It by idontknowmuch

dick_in_a_box

The Sun UK is reporting that Justin Timberlake recently purchased an expensive necklace for his girlfriend, Jessica Biel, because she was upset he was spending time with Madonna:

JT has been at the Queen of Pop’s beck and call over the past year while collaborating on her forthcoming album ‘Hard Candy’. And movie beauty Jessica has been a little put out by their close working relationship……..So to make it up to Jessica he snapped up the sparkling white gold and emerald chain from top jeweller H Stern.

Listen, I know all women are somewhat insecure and many are prone to jealousy. But you cannot tell me that Jessica Biel, who looks like this…………
Jessica_Biel

……..is feeling jealous because her boyfriend, a guy who could probably fuck anyone he wants, is working with a woman that now looks like this……….
Madonna_1

Don’t get me wrong…..Madonna looks pretty good for a 52-year old lady who will be a grandmother in about a week. But unless he has a GILF fetish, I’m pretty sure Justin has better options than a woman who was at her apex while he was still in dipers.

(*–Dick in a Box picture included because I couldn’t bring myself to post a picture of Justin with his shirt off or something……its bad enough I like his music.)



He’s Not a Virgin by phattyjboy

Jessica Biel’s bikini ass

Justin Timberlake introduced Madonna at her Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony last night. And it was typical award show hilarity bullshit. US Magazine reports:

“She has still found time to kiss someone I may or may not have publicly kissed myself while I was in the audience” Timberlake said. “Of course you know I was talking about Sean Penn.”…Timberlake punctuated his remarks with, “The world has always been full of Madonna wannabes and I might have even dated a couple.”

Look. I like JT. He may be ripping off Michael Jackson, but no one should give a shit because the music is catchy and he’s banging hot ass instead of trying to seduce little boys. Enough said. But this was a little retarded. Blah blah blah Madonna blah blah would have been sufficient. Check out the video:



(Just in case you care that Ms. Biel is pictured above and not JT, beware of my fist. It will punch you.)



Jesus. Christ. Almighty. by idontknowmuch

Last night’s Britney drama is just finally beginning to sink in. We all knew this was going to happen or, even worse, she’d end up dead, but its still unbelievable to watch on TV. This shit is on par with when Princess Diana died as far as media coverage. THE GIRL IS FUCKING OUT OF HER MIND AND HER FAMILY WAITED TOO DAMN LONG TO DO THIS. So let’s recap:

Britney Spears

– Britney apparently has a sleeping condition caused by Aderall and a meth addiction. She’s also been taking up to 10 laxatives a day and hasn’t slept since Saturday. Oh and she said her mom slept with K FEd, too. Sounds about right.

Jamie Spears

– Britney’s dad clearly looks like he’s about 75 years old. You have to feel bad for the guy. And congratulations on finally stepping in and trying to knock out her holder. 

– Have you ready anything on this Osama Lutfi character? His “psycho” resume is like four fucking pages long and I don’t care if 80% of its gossip or not. Someone stab him through the heart.

Lynne Spears

– What kind of mother let’s this shit go on? I know Britney’s old enough to make her own decisions, but she’s obviously not MENTALLY STABLE enough to do so. And you’re not mentally stable enough to slap the shit out of your daughter and get her help (Update: there are reports that Lynne wanted to take Brit to Malibu instead of UCLA. Great mom she is!)

Jamie Lynn Spears

– Jaime Lynn better be taking fucking notes.

Justin Timberlake

– Justin Timberlake has to undoubtedly feel pretty upset about all this, but I’m sure he forgets all about the bullet he dodged when he’s banging Ms. Biel every night.

– Thank you to SOMEONE in Britney’s camp for having the balls to finally get a psychiatrist to go as far as to clear the airspace above Britney’s house so that they could “get her to the hospital safely.” Wait, she wasn’t airlifted? That doesn’t make sense. I’m sure TMZ would have given her a lift for the right price.

Big Package

Oh and the lingo the cops were using (i.e. extracting the “package”) really fooled all those paparazzi. Unless they were coming to my house, the word “package” will probably never have a “bigger” meaning. If you get my drift.   :wink wink:

And my guess is that the guy from Grey’s Anatomy who also checked in because he’s “sleep deprived” was a decoy to keep the media off Britney, too. Problem is no one gives a fuck. Everyone is talking about him being there while his five kids are at home wondering “Where’s daddy? Is he going to pick up the package, too?”