IDontKnowMuch.com


Who Doesn’t Have a Sex Tape with LiLo? by phattyjboy

Lindsay Lohan and Calum Best

Just days after the Kristin Davis sex tape broke on the scene, the Lindsay Lohan/Calum Best sex tape that there were rumors about comes up again. God, can’t this bitch let someone else have the spotlight for a change? And by spotlight, I mean that really annoying white light on the top of a handheld video camera.

Supposedly a “friend of a friend” of Lindsay’s linked this screenshot of a blow-J with her ex-boyfriend, Calum Best (sort of NSFW):

Lindsay Lohan blowjob

Its very grainy because it was taken with a cell phone. I guess it sorta kinda maybe looks like Lindsay. But honestly, who cares? This girl does not give a shit that you know who she blows and who she doesn’t. One word that I would never use to describe Lindsay: discreet.

Lindsay Lohan initials SR ring

We also learned that the whore is wearing a ring with the initials “SR” on them, just like the one that Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are wearing right now. The “SR” supposedly stands for her lesbian lover Samantha Ronson, but I think it symbolizes her love of sticky rice. You decide. And surprise surprise – two attention-craving whores who can’t let either one have the spotlight for a day. Honestly, girls, you should both just go into porn. You know a movie featuring the two of them with (insert any whore friend here) would be “box”-office gold (get it?). I don’t care how many people have seen just as much of you as your gynecologists. GOLD.

UPDATE: Click HERE and scroll down for a NSFW video clip of the alleged blow-J. I’m not so sure that is Lindsay and what the hell is being said in the background?



Which One Do You Like Better? by phattyjboy

Ali and Lindsay Lohan

Just pretend its 2011 and Ali is already 18. These sisters give us guys two very different options in women. We know that Lindsay is the fuller-figured whore with big boobs and a penchant for screwing just about anyone. We also know that Ali wants to be just as famous as her sister (“Oh my god, you have no idea. Seriously.”), but she gives off a model-type look with a skinnier figure and even an “older” look about her.

And no I’m not saying that she looks older to make myself feel better about posing this question. I know I’m creepy and I don’t care what you think of me. ::sniffle:: ::sniffle::

You guys are so mean! Just tell me what you think.



He Was Totally Hitting This During Filming by phattyjboy



Not that everyone didn’t know this. Even the guy’s who hold the microphones on those long poles get a piece of Lindsay during taping, so its no wonder that pretty boy Jared Leto could hit this. Even after he gained 57 pounds to play the role of John Lennon’s killer. The movie, Chapter 27, seems like it would actually be good….until you watch the trailer. Not that I haven’t liked Jared in everything (except Panic Room), but itseems a little premature to start saying “Oscar run.” Especially when you have to look good by comparison when your co-star is Lindsay Lohan playing….well, Lindsay Lohan. She always acts like she’s completely lost when guys come onto her in movies, but you know as soon as the cameras are off they have to throw cold water on her and fan her off so that everyone on the set doesn’t get blown.

If it was me, I’d just let it happen. I’d probably pay her a whole lot more money, too, and if the movie bombed, I really wouldn’t care. People only attach her to movies to 1.) get blown during the read through 2.) to cause a PR stir 3.) they’re completely retarded.

By the way, where IS the 30 Seconds to Mar’s cover album of the Beatles for this movie? Did they not even do one cover with Jared in the movie? Dumb.



I See Nothing Wrong With This Move by idontknowmuch

Lindsay_body

People Magazine is reporting that Billy Ray Cyrus did not delete Lindsay Lohan’s phone number from his daughter Miley’s phone, despite rumors to the contrary.

“We love Lindsay,” Billy Ray said.

Honestly, I understand that Billy Ray is being diplomatic, but I don’t think anyone would blame him for doing this. Lets face it: Miley’s slut potential is off the charts. She has already been photographed in her bikini/underwear, and those photos were posted on the internet. She’s rich, and she’s only 15. She’s on the Britney/Lindsay career path, and now LiLo herself is offering up personal skank tutoring lessons. Of course you’re deleting the number. I would of taken the phone and burned it. Then, I would of placed the ashes in a tin box and buried it 10 feet below ground in an unmarked grave. Thats the only way to be sure the evil is purged, you know.

(Also, for those of you that are disappointed I didn’t post a Miley picture instead of a Lindsay picture as the banner……shame on you).



Good timing, Hugh by idontknowmuch

The NY Post is reporting that Hugh Hefner and Playboy are offering Lindsay Lohan an opportunity to recreate some scene from some movie that Marilyn Monroe appeared naked in:

Playboy has offered the young star the chance to re-create Marilyn’s famed nude swim from the unfinished film “Something’s Got To Give.”

Lindsay Lohan 2

This would have been really awesome news if, you know, we hadn’t just seen her tits like a week ago. Not that I won’t look, but the cache is gone. Playboy used to be about getting chicks you’d never see naked to take their clothes off. Now Hef is just swooping in and grabbing up broads after piece of shit mags like NY Magazine have done the heavy lifting.

You know how in high school,  you would put in 6 months of work with a girl, finally get laid, and then later break up with the girl? Hugh is the guy who dates her immediately after and fucks her after talking to her for 15 minutes at a house party. Hey, to each his own, but where was this offer a year ago?



One Liners by idontknowmuch

Amanda Overmeyer

– Top 10 9 girls and one skunk’s performances from American Idol last night (JustJared)

– Harlow Madden slightly resembles a girl version of Vern Troyer (People)

– Awww a promise ring for Ashlee! (DListed)

– Winehouse is back on the sauce crack ecstasy every drug known to man-kind (The Sun)

– Jessica, you already did this interview for GQ a couple years ago and no one feels sorry that you got made fun of because you were hot in grade school (Page Six)

– You already did the best photoshoot you could ever do, LiLo (ASL)

– God, I used to love her, especially in that boring movie with Sigourney Weaver (Hollywood Tuna)



Pharaoh’s Tomb? by idontknowmuch
February 28, 2008, 11:46 am
Filed under: Kate Beckinsale, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton

Kate Beckinsale

The always lovely Kate Beckinsale gave an interview to Allure magazine, and let’s just say she wasn’t being very lovely. When asked about her love life and previous relationships, she responded:

“I’ve only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh’s Tomb!”

Then when asked what her greatest physical asset was, this is what she had to say:

“My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I’m told it is spectacular. But you can’t really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?” she giggled before silently mouthing the words ‘My twat’ at the interviewer.

Let me just say this. I want to be in the fucking room next time Kate Beckinsale leans over to a reporter and mouths the word “twat.” I have a hard time believing that ever happened, but looking back on her responses during this interview, I’d have to say she might be a closet freak. Who tells a national publication like Allure magazine that their best physical feature is their vagina? Lindsay and Paris wouldn’t even say that, even though we both know everyone in Hollywood has had a go with them and the only reason guys talk to them is because of their pharaoh’s tombs. However, its not like you have to be Indiana Jones to gain access to those tombs. You could probably tell a knock knock joke and by the time you were finished, they’d be in a doggy-style stance and asking you what’s taking so long.