Rockwilders by idontknowmuch

Britney Spears at Petco

Sooooo I had a friend in high school who worked at a pet store like Petco. And he said customers would always come in ask for Eukanuba for their “rockwilders”. Now I never understood what the hell a “rockwilder” was.

Until today. My god, Ms. Spears. I like to pride myself on the fact that I don’t have any memories of what my mother used to look like back in the day, much less what her nipples look like. Put a fucking bra on. No wait. Actually don’t put one on. You flaunt your stuff all you want out in public, girlfriend. Don’t wear panties getting out of the car on your way to Starbucks. Take all your clothes off when shopping for lingerie. I mean, if you can’t appreciate your sexiness when getting coffee and thongs, then when the hell are you supposed to do that???

No, wait. Take all that back again. Put on a fucking bra. Sober up. Go get your kids back from that sorry excuse for a man (and oh yes, he is showing you up with his parenting skills, my dear) and move back with your family. Your sister’s bastard child is going to need someone to go to gymnastics with.