IDontKnowMuch.com


Way to Go, Donald by phattyjboy

Chanell Elaine Hallett underage pics

I could have told you that one of the cocktail waitresses/promoters for a brand new line of vodka would be underage. I thought it was a requirement to be under 18 to even be considered. I’ve never been to a bar or club where they were promoting a top shelf beverage and thought to myself “My god, this girl is hot for being 32.” And thats because I knew she was 17 and looked like she was 24, tops.

Now the Donald may get into a shitload of trouble, along with Trump Vodka, 944 Magazine, and the bar the even was hosted at. This soiree took place sometime during Superbowl weekend and one of the promoters, Chanell Elaine Hallett, was said to be about a week and a half away from being 18. Do they not check driver’s licenses before hiring people to work at bars? This story surfaced and we immediately had a copy of her driver’s license online. And now there is a gallery of pictures from her MySpace page (which is now private) to prove that she was underage and a lovely girl whore.

Something tells me that all girls are whores. Even the ugly ones. Have you ever browsed through Photobucket? O.M.G. Lots of girls claiming to be “hot and naked” that ruined many Saturday afternoons for me. And I know, I know. Now there’s no mystery with what this blog writer does on his Saturday afternoon. I guess you’ll just have to find out what I do the other six days, baby.



My Two Favorite Girls on the O.C. Reality Shows by phattyjboy

Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad

Ahhhh stupid whores. You cannot NOT love them. They are a recurring role in our lives. We all know one or two. Or 47. We all have slept with them. We have all felt a little sorry for them, but then got over it very quickly. But most importantly, they flaunt their whore-bilities around, no matter how much trouble pain press it gets them.

Kristin Cavallari hotness

First, the lovely Kristin Cavallari reportedly began giving out “the best blow-J’s ever” when she was only 13. She taught some girl at a summer camp how to give one on a flash light and thus, a whore is born. I remember being in a Subway when I was 13 and my buddy and his girlfriend got up and both went into the bathroom – together! And I couldn’t believe it. What could they be doing in there? Who wants to see a girl pee? And being the loser that I was, I decided to shoot quarters underneath the door to try and mess up their fun pee-watching time. If I only knew now what I knew then, I’d probably have been a lot more depressed and cried in my BMT Sub.

Audrina Patridge nude photoshoot

And then there’s the lovely Audrina Patridge from “The Hills”. Gotta love this bitch. I’m a sucker for brunettes and there was always something about her that made me think Lauren was a complete waste of my time. I actually had to tell Lauren to stop texting me. She would ask “Are you watching the show right now? You better not TiVo that shit and fast forward to the scenes with Audrina. God damn it, I thought you loved ME!” Dumb bitch just can’t handle a man the right way. We are born to roam, baby.

Anyways, these pictures that have surfaced were supposedly taken right after Audrina finished high school. That makes me very happy because you can look at 18 years olds on the internet. 17 1/2 and they give you a slap on the wrist. Any younger and you’re going to start being called a “sexual predator”. It sounds cooler than it is. She took this pictures to try and get in Playboy. What the hell were they thinking by NOT using them? Tsk tsk, Mr. Hefner. You let us down.

Go HERE to see the complete gallery of Ms. Patridge in all her glory.



Does This Sell Lingerie? by idontknowmuch

Katie Price/Jordan new lingerie line

I’ve seen pictures of this whore slut tramp girl before and my reaction was “just another girl with fake tits.” I think she’s the one that recently had them removed, but I don’t care to verify that. She does have a pretty nice body though.

So why the other models you ask? Because this chick is the semi-hot chick from high school with small tits that you see five years later and she’s smoking with a huge rack. Buuuuuuuut she’s still hanging out with the ugly girls to make herself feel better, so that she always gets the attention. She doesn’t really care about you, girls. Bravo for going up there as natural women. I know if I did a similar photoshoot in my Speedo, there would be no way anyone would buy more Speedos. I’m pretty sure their stock price would drop so far that they would have to restructure the company and fire tons of people.

And I don’t want to put anyone out of a job, now do i?



She Looks Decently Decent Here by idontknowmuch

Britney Spears decent

But I still wouldn’t touch her. Unless I was drunk. Really drunk. And high. Shit I better not ever actually go out to a club and see this girl. I’ll be so drunk and high that I might actually touch her. Ohh shit. I’m never going near L.A. again. God damnit. I always attract the psychotic bitches.

::sigh:: It’s my curse.



The Next Generation by idontknowmuch

Ali Lohan

The picture above was not posted so we can see Lindsay’s much younger sister in a bikini (although Lindsay is looking good here). It was posted because Teen Vogue printed an interview with Ali Lohan where she says things like this:

“I grew up watching Lindsay. It made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

And she wants to be famous: “really bad, so bad. So bad you don’t even know.”

With a reality show already in the works with her whore of a mother, Dina Lohan, I’m going to say, without a shred of doubt, that she will follow in her sister’s footsteps. Look at the way she already talks and how much attention she is craving. She’s already in the shadows of the naked photoshoot and millions of dollars her sister has made off her tits acting. She’s going to have to fuck prove to everyone that she can be just as whorey good as her sister, or at least as talented hot.

Let’s follow a pattern here: Britney and Jaime Lynn. Now Lindsay and Ali. I wanna know if Hayden has any younger sisters that want to “prove themselves”. And look at what Miley Cyrus has done with her dad’s success (even though I don’t know how). All this goes back to the parents. The Spears and the Lohans are horrible, horrible parents and its very clear to see that with their children’s actions. Now I know money and fame and success and pressure play into all this, but if Miley stays the course and stops posting MySpace pictures and is a nice girl, then this will prove my point further. And if Hayden stays a nice girl, too.

But just look at our previous post about the Southwest Airlines dumb sluts. All I know is that when I was 13 or 14, girls weren’t dressing like B-squad strippers or making videos of themselves dancing in their underwear or naked. And if they were, then I blame the internet for taking so god damn long to develop. These kids todays have it so easy seeing boobs. They didn’t have to look through squiggly lines on the TV in the basement at night and wait for a nipple to pop up. They can go on YouTube or Flickr right now and find naughty pictures of the hot girls in school and their next door neighbors slightly older daughter that just “matured” a bit more.

In my day, if you wanted to be a creep, you had to just look over the fence at her or try to sneak into the girls bathroom and pretend you thought it was the guys. Thats the right to do it, dammit.



What’s Wrong with the Youth of Today by idontknowmuch
February 27, 2008, 1:14 pm
Filed under: Stay Hot Kid, Stupid Bitches

Nisreen Swedberg and Sarah Williams

CNN has a video up HERE about two 18 year old ho bags who claim they were kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight for being too (wait for it) gorgeous. They claim they asked for a water bottle and never received it, thus being discriminated against because of their ravaging beauty. The fact that they got into a screaming match with another passenger for taking too long in the bathroom doesn’t mean anything though.

We all know stupid little bitches like these two. They think the world is owed to them and most of the time they are just empty inside. And I don’t care if thats cruel to say that to 18 years olds. That would be my pick-up line if I ever ran into them. “Hey you two. You’re completely empty inside” and they’d be all like “Oh hell no he didn’t! Who the fuck do you think you are?” and I’d say “The one thats going to fill that void, baby.”

Let’s face it. I might not agree with them, but as long as they are 18 and I wasn’t the one in that bathroom on that airplane, I’m going to take my chances.

Me: 1 Them: 0 You’re move, ladies.