Jesus. Christ. Almighty. by idontknowmuch

Last night’s Britney drama is just finally beginning to sink in. We all knew this was going to happen or, even worse, she’d end up dead, but its still unbelievable to watch on TV. This shit is on par with when Princess Diana died as far as media coverage. THE GIRL IS FUCKING OUT OF HER MIND AND HER FAMILY WAITED TOO DAMN LONG TO DO THIS. So let’s recap:

Britney Spears

– Britney apparently has a sleeping condition caused by Aderall and a meth addiction. She’s also been taking up to 10 laxatives a day and hasn’t slept since Saturday. Oh and she said her mom slept with K FEd, too. Sounds about right.

Jamie Spears

– Britney’s dad clearly looks like he’s about 75 years old. You have to feel bad for the guy. And congratulations on finally stepping in and trying to knock out her holder. 

– Have you ready anything on this Osama Lutfi character? His “psycho” resume is like four fucking pages long and I don’t care if 80% of its gossip or not. Someone stab him through the heart.

Lynne Spears

– What kind of mother let’s this shit go on? I know Britney’s old enough to make her own decisions, but she’s obviously not MENTALLY STABLE enough to do so. And you’re not mentally stable enough to slap the shit out of your daughter and get her help (Update: there are reports that Lynne wanted to take Brit to Malibu instead of UCLA. Great mom she is!)

Jamie Lynn Spears

– Jaime Lynn better be taking fucking notes.

Justin Timberlake

– Justin Timberlake has to undoubtedly feel pretty upset about all this, but I’m sure he forgets all about the bullet he dodged when he’s banging Ms. Biel every night.

– Thank you to SOMEONE in Britney’s camp for having the balls to finally get a psychiatrist to go as far as to clear the airspace above Britney’s house so that they could “get her to the hospital safely.” Wait, she wasn’t airlifted? That doesn’t make sense. I’m sure TMZ would have given her a lift for the right price.

Big Package

Oh and the lingo the cops were using (i.e. extracting the “package”) really fooled all those paparazzi. Unless they were coming to my house, the word “package” will probably never have a “bigger” meaning. If you get my drift.   :wink wink:

And my guess is that the guy from Grey’s Anatomy who also checked in because he’s “sleep deprived” was a decoy to keep the media off Britney, too. Problem is no one gives a fuck. Everyone is talking about him being there while his five kids are at home wondering “Where’s daddy? Is he going to pick up the package, too?”

Alcohol + Snowmobiles = Not Fun by idontknowmuch
January 25, 2008, 3:10 pm
Filed under: Randy Salerno | Tags: , , , , ,

Randy Salerno

Chicago news anchor Randy Salerno died last night on a snowmobile trip in Eagle River, Wisconsin. Police reports said that “alcohol and speed are believed to be a factor in the crash.” 

Umm the one-person snowmobile, which had both the driver and Salerno on it, hit several trees at excessive speeds. And somehow the driver lives but Salerno slams into a tree at full force. Don’t we hear about this kind of shit every damn time some drunk driver hits someone else? Why do THEY always live? Sad shit.

Lesson learned: If you’re going to get drunk and snowmobile, make sure you’re the only one on the damn thing. Even if you hit multiple trees, you’ll most likely be alright. Just don’t hit someone else in the process of flying off.

R.I.P. Randy Salerno – ISU Redbird alumni 

Have YOU ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? by idontknowmuch
January 23, 2008, 7:25 pm
Filed under: Heath Ledger | Tags: , , , , , ,

Heath Ledger as Joker

So sad, so sad. Who thought that by the end of January 22nd, 2008, we would find out that such a great actor would be dead. And not only dead but supposedly in Mary Kate’s apartment (not true) with pills strewn about (also not true). God I hate people who just spread gossip about celebrities.

Especially about such a hard-nosed, “rough and tumble” guy. (Insert “Brokeback” joke here).