IDontKnowMuch.com


Topic of the Week: February 25th, 2008 – Does pregnancy really ruin a bitch? by idontknowmuch

Jessica Alba Pre-Oscars weird party

I know what you’re going to say, ladies: You are not all bitches and pregnancy is a beautiful thing and what would your mothers think? Well she doesn’t read this blog, thank god.

Jim: Interesting topic here. Now, before I get into this, you should have some background on me. I like curves. Skinny women with no breasts or ass do absolutely nothing for me. Rarely am I attracted to a woman with a B cup or smaller. So I am never going to get mad when a woman’s tits get huge and her ass gets more full. However, I don’t crave fat women, either. I dont have a pregnancy fetish. So if a woman isn’t really showing, up to 4 or 5 months, theres a good chance the pregnancy itself makes a woman hotter. But after that, I think I’d rather log on to assparade and visit my friend Peaches. Thats just how it goes.

Chris: Now I agree with you, my friend. I definitely like curves on a woman, too. Woman are supposed to have curves and especially an ass. I’m a complete ass man. I don’t really discriminate on the boobage, but I’m not going to say I don’t like a good pair. I will tell you this though. There are some pregnant woman that are really hot even up until the end. Maybe its because I already have a child of my own, but I’m not freaked out by the huge bump. But there is also a phenomenon that must be addressed here. Some woman are pregnant and get freaking huge and then shrink down to their normal size in about a month, some it seems like in a few days. Others don’t ever return to how they looked before. But there boobage remains much more robust for months to come. Look at Christina Aguilera. Salma Hayek. Camilla Alves. Brooke Burke.

Jim: And this is the phenomena I am hoping for Jessica Alba. If you remember, about 5 or 6 years ago, when she was in ‘Dark Angel’, Jess was just…….sublime. She wasn’t too skinny, but yet was nowhere near fat–or even thick. Then she started losing weight. A few months ago, she couldnt have been more than 100 pounds, and for a girl who was at her hottest when she had a decent rack and RIDICULOUS ASS, the skinny look isnt cool. So maybe now, her body will keep that weight on. If female celebrities getting pregnant–and the resulting love they get for their fuller figures–finally wakes people up to the fact that super-skinny IS NOT HOT, then I’m all for it. Thats why I’m starting to think all female celebrities who are getting too skinny in th future should just get knocked up. Some may say its not a good enough reason to get pregnant; I say, if Nicole Ritchie can get pregnant just to avoid jail time, then Hayden Panettiere can get knocked up so that we can look at her with a C cup. Its only fair.

Phatty: This might get confusing. I don’t think that Jamie Lynn Spears gets more attractive because she’s pregnant. She wasn’t too skinny in the first place, but she is only 16 and a Spears. So we can definitely say that pregnancy will ruin a Spears bitch, thats for damn sure. Not that Jaime Lynn was all that attractive, but next to her sister and her mom, I’d be choosing her. And I’m all for Hayden growing some boobies, but you know the pregnancy would go straight to that ass and thighs. She already has some issues in that department and she’s always working out, but hey I’m all for people who are trying to be active and healthy. I just don’t know how much of an improvement it would be…..

Jim: I never see her ass working out. I heard about her wrestling dolphins. Or was she hunting the fishermen that were hunting dolphin? I’m not sure. All I do know is that Hayden needs to get knocked up. We’ll get about 3-4 months of solid rack growth, then the bump will come, and then after that her bottom half will snap back into shape while her top half will be more respectable. She’s 18 and has no real job, and she has all that “heroes” money to get a personal trainer; she should have no problem losing the baby weight. But to be more on point, I think we have determined that pregnancy may not ruin a bitch……it depends on the bitch. Bitch.

Phatty: I guess you can actually say that we both don’t mind pregnant girls through their first couple months as long as it makes them have bigger boobies, bigger butts (but only if they need it), and that they get back on the treadmill after popping that kid out so that we can view them as hot again. And we’re both fat, balding slobs who should get on a treadmill ourselves so that at least a couple drunk bitches might say “Eh, he’ll do.”

Jim: Hey…..this isn’t about us and our incessant need to eat a pint of Ben n Jerry’s a night and follow that up with 2 artery clogging steaks, followed by sitting motionless on the couch for the following 3 hours, eventually leading to sleep. This is about famous women who are known for their beauty and their bodies, and their duty to stay hot until the next young starlet comes along and takes her spot. Everyone has their place…..bloggers are supposed to sit in their parent’s basements and make judgements of the beautiful people. The beautiful people are supposed to be beautiful.

Phatty: Spoken like a true poet.

Editor’s Note: Hayden Panettiere does work out. She wears workout clothes all the time. Although she doesn’t ever appear to be sweating….



Pregnant Hotties: Old Edition (I meant to post this weeks ago) by idontknowmuch

But I’m a lazy bastard. This is Camilla Alves and you might describe her as attractive. Not a bad choice to have an illegitimate child with, Matthew. Not at all.

Camilla Alves