IDontKnowMuch.com


My Two Favorite Girls on the O.C. Reality Shows by phattyjboy

Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad

Ahhhh stupid whores. You cannot NOT love them. They are a recurring role in our lives. We all know one or two. Or 47. We all have slept with them. We have all felt a little sorry for them, but then got over it very quickly. But most importantly, they flaunt their whore-bilities around, no matter how much trouble pain press it gets them.

Kristin Cavallari hotness

First, the lovely Kristin Cavallari reportedly began giving out “the best blow-J’s ever” when she was only 13. She taught some girl at a summer camp how to give one on a flash light and thus, a whore is born. I remember being in a Subway when I was 13 and my buddy and his girlfriend got up and both went into the bathroom – together! And I couldn’t believe it. What could they be doing in there? Who wants to see a girl pee? And being the loser that I was, I decided to shoot quarters underneath the door to try and mess up their fun pee-watching time. If I only knew now what I knew then, I’d probably have been a lot more depressed and cried in my BMT Sub.

Audrina Patridge nude photoshoot

And then there’s the lovely Audrina Patridge from “The Hills”. Gotta love this bitch. I’m a sucker for brunettes and there was always something about her that made me think Lauren was a complete waste of my time. I actually had to tell Lauren to stop texting me. She would ask “Are you watching the show right now? You better not TiVo that shit and fast forward to the scenes with Audrina. God damn it, I thought you loved ME!” Dumb bitch just can’t handle a man the right way. We are born to roam, baby.

Anyways, these pictures that have surfaced were supposedly taken right after Audrina finished high school. That makes me very happy because you can look at 18 years olds on the internet. 17 1/2 and they give you a slap on the wrist. Any younger and you’re going to start being called a “sexual predator”. It sounds cooler than it is. She took this pictures to try and get in Playboy. What the hell were they thinking by NOT using them? Tsk tsk, Mr. Hefner. You let us down.

Go HERE to see the complete gallery of Ms. Patridge in all her glory.