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Surprising Turn of Events on ‘Idol’ by idontknowmuch

Michael_Johns

Michael Johns was eliminated last night, to the shock of just about everyone. While I agree that Johns probably didn’t deserve to be eliminated last night, it is understandable when you think about it. Lets break it down logically.

He really hasn’t wowed the audience in a few weeks. Meanwhile, David Cook has somewhat stolen some of the votes he may have been getting because they are somewhat similar and Cook has been better the last few weeks. Think of it like a political election–certain groups are going to vote for certain candidates. Cook and Johns were both somewhat older, good-looking, rocker types who appealed to a certain audience. While that audience’s votes for Johns and Cook may have been more split in past weeks, the recent success of Cook and the relative poor showing by Johns last week probably caused a lot of those people to switch to Cook, leaving Johns with no ‘voting base’, as it were.

Kristy Lee Cook is the least-talented singer left of the group. I think thats clear. But the thing Kristy has is a defined niche. All the country fans are going to vote for her, and no one else in the competition are going to get the country vote. So she can afford to suck for three or four weeks in a row, because her style is going to appeal to a large group that isn’t voting for anyone else in this competition. Also, it doesn’t hurt that she’s pretty easy on the eyes.

As for the rest of the remaining Idol wannabes, I think its clear that David Archuleta is going to be around until the end. I’m not a big fan of his. But you can’t deny his talent, and he is going to get the ‘screaming-little-girl’ vote from here on out. Jason Castro is probably my second-least favorite singer left; but again, women love him. And women are the ones who are going to vote for this damn thing. So I think he’s going to stick around.

I think it says a lot about the flaws of ‘American Idol’ when yesterday’s bottom three–Syesha
Mercado
, Michael, and Carly Smithson–were not the three worst pure singers left in the competition. This isn’t a singing competition–its an entertainment contest. People get so upset about the ‘wrong’ person getting voted off because they are a better singer than so-and-so; but they don’t realize this is a popularity contest, not a talent competition.

If I had to choose the bottom three based on talent and entertainment value alone, my picks would be Kristy Lee, Jason, and Syesha, with Kristy Lee getting the boot. But no one is asking me for my opinion. I just write it in a blog.

(Oh, and one more thing…..am I the only one who thinks Carly’s tatoos are horrible? She would be ridiculously hot if it weren’t for all the ink. Her accent drives me crazy, its so sexy. But all the attention is drawn to that arm. Its like she did time at Folsom or something.)



Brad Pitt Works American Idol by idontknowmuch

 Brad_Pitt

Us magazine reports that the scene at this week’s taping of ‘American Idol Gives Back’ was insane, especially when Brad Pitt stopped by to make an appearance.

When the actor, 44, hit the stage at Hollywood’s Kodak Theater, the crowd wouldn’t stop screaming, one attendee tells Usmagazine.com……Idol floor manager Debbie McVickers stopped the show because the actor’s mic wasn’t working. As she tried to attach his mic, she joked, “I just needed a reason to touch him!” Pitt — whose efforts to rebuild New Orleans were recognized on the show — then erupted out in laughter.

Well no shit. The people in that crowd went apeshit when fucking Sanjaya was “singing” last season; when an honest-to-goodness movie star and icon shows up on the same stage, I’m surprised half of the crowd members’ skulls didn’t explode. Its a miracle that the people in the audience didn’t all experience spontaneous combustion simultaneously.



Reality TV More Dangerous Than Regular TV by idontknowmuch

David_Cook

Reports are that two of reality television’s biggest stars at the moment–‘American Idol’ finalist David Cook and ‘Dancing with the Stars’ cast member Derek Hough–were both taken to the hospital in the last few days.

Derek_Hough

Cook was taken to a nearby hospital for high blood pressure, but assured everyone last night that it wasn’t serious and that he would be fine. Hough apparently suffered a minor neck injury during rehearsals, but did not require an overnight hospital stay and should be fine for the rest of the season with partner, Shannon Elizabeth.

I’m not going to rag on Cook because he’s been my pick to win Idol since the finalists were dwindled down to 24; it would be good if the winner wasn’t a ballad-centric singer, for once. While Hough seems somewhat goofy and his almost too well-crafted good looks bug me a bit, he’s harmless and IDKM hopes he is OK, if only to ensure Shannon continues on the show. But it probably won’t happen because no matter how good a dancer the hot chick is, she always gets voted off early…..meanwhile, the annoying as hell Broadway star stays on even though she can’t dance to save her life. Wonder why.)

One thing I will say about Derek is that his sister, fellow DWTS cast member Julianne, is the epitome of cute. Believe me, I would love to be able to write and say dirty, dirty things about her, but she’s too cute. I’d feel weird about it, like I was fantasizing about a little sister. I just kind of want to put her in my pocket and carry her around.

Who am I kidding? I’d still absolutely wreck it. But I’d want to take her out for dinner after, instead of the normal thing I say to women after sex: ‘Heres your $200 dollars now leave me be so I can cry myself to sleep’.



Ooooo…..This Is Awkward by idontknowmuch

David_Archuleta

OK Magazine is reporting that American Idol favorite David Archuleta has disappointing news for his many young female fans:

Millions of young hearts broke on Tuesday night when a mystery lady appeared in the American Idol audience with David Archuleta’s family. The finalist even hinted live on air that he hopes the shy brunette is going to be his prom date.

Well, just because he might want a certain girl to be his prom date doesn’t mean David’s fans should think that they have less of a chance with him, right? Lets look further into the article:

Just three weeks ago, David told the myFox Boston website that he’s still too young to have a girlfriend……..”I’m not really worried about getting a girlfriend,” he said. “I’m still too young for that”.

Well, thats perfectly normal. While most 17-year old guys think ONLY of sex, some are late bloomers who are focused on other things. Yes, I’m sure thats it. Well, lets be sure:

But it’s apparently not so for his younger siblings back in Utah. “My brothers and sisters, on the other hand, all have boyfriends and girlfriends,” David said. “I guess I’m weird!”

Ahhh. I see. Yes, that is what you are……..”weird.” You know, I’ve watched the show and noticed that David is, how you say, somewhat soft. Now that I hear he isn’t interested in a girlfriend at 17, even though he could be knee-deep in underage ass if he wanted…….yeah, folks, this dude is gay. He’s Clay Aiken part II.



No Shit by phattyjboy

Amanda Overmyer mugshot

We can’t get through a season of American Idol without finding some dirt on one of the contestants. Of course that is no surprise. These people are trying to make it in the music industry and are going on a reality television show to do so. Most are obviously attention-seeking and/or starved and need to feel good about themselves. So its no wonder that we find naked pictures of one contestant. I’m surprised thats not a prerequisite for getting on the show. Amanda Overmyer already has a DUI announced to the entire world. Then there’s that other guy who was a gay stripper or some shit. And I’m sure all the other chicks got naked as hell in college and are on the internet somewhere. All this shit just keeps moving the Idol machine.

Which is fine by me. It provides entertainment and while I cannot stand to watch people emberrass themselves on live TV (weird, right?), I do appreciate the embarrassment of naked pictures on the internet for the entire world to see. This chick will have kids someday and she’ll be none as the American Idol contestant that the nation asked this question about:

Does her skunk carpet match the drapes?

I guess we’ll have to wait to find out, and then look away in embarrassment disgust horror.



One Liners by idontknowmuch

Amanda Overmeyer

– Top 10 9 girls and one skunk’s performances from American Idol last night (JustJared)

– Harlow Madden slightly resembles a girl version of Vern Troyer (People)

– Awww a promise ring for Ashlee! (DListed)

– Winehouse is back on the sauce crack ecstasy every drug known to man-kind (The Sun)

– Jessica, you already did this interview for GQ a couple years ago and no one feels sorry that you got made fun of because you were hot in grade school (Page Six)

– You already did the best photoshoot you could ever do, LiLo (ASL)

– God, I used to love her, especially in that boring movie with Sigourney Weaver (Hollywood Tuna)



My Favorite Idol is Married to a Pedophile by idontknowmuch

Katherine McPhee

Damn you, McPhee. We had a fucking deal. I was going to console you after your CD didn’t work out, you’d dump THIS GUY because he was old enough to be your dad, and we would live out our days as two Irish drunks. Buuuuut noooooo you had to go and marry this douchebag. And you know why? 97.2% of girls that are famous have daddy issues. Its like the fact they didn’t have a father around fuels their need to get famous and make money. Where did I such an accurate fact you ask? Wikipedia. That shit has answers for everything.

BTW I have no idea if my Kit Kat had her daddy around or not, but he must not have done a great job if she’s marrying a 42 year old at 23 years of age. Oh and fuck you for telling me you were a virgin. I can’t believe I fell for that shit again. You’ve been around the block more times than that weird tree cult I posted about last week. Again, true story.

Booty comparison: THEN and NOW (because I don’t care about people seeing my Kitty Kat anymore):

Katherine McPhee’s bootay comparison

Are they getting married because she’s secretly pregnant? Stay tuned to IDKM for the answer at 5!