Huh?–UPDATE by idontknowmuch
April 2, 2008, 8:03 am
Filed under: Jessica Simpson, Jim | Tags: , , ,


People Magazine reports that Jessica Simpson has been hospitalized for a “kidney infection” but is currently doing fine:

As for what caused her to check into the hospital, “She had a fever and it seemed important to get it treated,” the source said.

I’m confused, and not just because for the last six months, I can only achieve climax while watching tranny porn. Why does someone goes to a fucking hospital with just a fever? Most people still go to work. Others might stay home and relax. Unless you’re an infant or small child, who goes to the hospital for a high temperature? Celebrities, apparently.


Second, what the fuck is a ‘kidney infection’? I’ve heard of a urinary tract infection. I’ve heard of kidney stones. I have never heard of a kidney infection. Thats like being nauseus and saying you have a ‘stomach infection’.

I think one of two things happened here. One, a high fever is generally a symptom of a herpes outbreak (don’t ask me how I know); therefore, Jessica Simpson has herpes and her publicist is covering it up. The second possibility is that Jessica actually went to the hospital and has a urinary tract infection, and this source is a moron who called it a kidney infection.


I like this possibility because while in college, a girl told me she had a urinary tract infection. I asked her what caused it, and she said the doctor told her a common cause was not having orgasms. That doctor was probably full of shit and a quack, but I like the idea of Jess getting this news while in a hospital, and then asking random hot nurses to go down on her in order to alleviate this medical problem. I really should write porn.

Enjoy the pics of Jess, which are the main reasons for this post.

UPDATE–According to the Mayo Clinic, a kidney infection is a type of urinary tract infection that requires prompt medical attention. Antibiotics are the typical treatment.

(Wow…..and who was it that said that a kidney infection was much more serious and that what Jess probably had was a urinary tract infection? Oh yeah, it was me. And who was derided by a commenter for that idea? Oh yeah, me. Go google that.)

One Liners by idontknowmuch

Kristin Cavallari

– Kristin Cavallari might be a dumb bitch, but she’s still hot (DrunkenStepfather)

– Of course Rachael Ray is a bitch and her husband has a foot fetish (DListed)

– “Rock of Love 2” and “That’s Amore!” amuse the shit out of me (DListed)

– Ms. Simpson only publicly screwed three of these guys, but we know she did all of them (DListed)

– Wait a second: Who forget Adriana Lima? Not me (Hollywood Tuna)

– Nerd spoiler alert: Wolverine v.s. Sabertooth pics (Just Jared)

– I’m not so sure about Ms. Panettiere anymore (Just Jared)

– Top 20 Swayze faces in ‘Ghost’ (Best Week Ever)

jessica romo? by idontknowmuch

Friends of Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and big breasted incest survivor Jessica Simpson say marriage may be in the near future for the two. Us Weekly reports:

“I think they’re going to get married,” Romo’s close friend of three years, Michael Starr, says in the latest issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now.

Romo’s ex, Sophia Bush, says “I think they could go the distance…..they are perfect for each other.”

Jessica Simpson

Sophia also added, “Also, these two are both fucking retards. Seriously, I once had dinner with Tony, and it took him fifteen minutes to butter a roll. And don’t even get me started on Jessica. That idiot couldn’t spell ‘cat’ if you spotted her the ‘c’ and the ‘t’.”  

Only Man for Jess by idontknowmuch

Papa Joe Simpson and Jessica Simpson

Let’s see…….

Nick Lakie (I don’t care if its Lachey)

John Mayer

That guy from Maroon 5

Dane Cook

John Mayer

That guy from biology class (lucky bastard)

John Mayer again

Biology class dude again (John Mayer’s pissed)

Tony Romo

Terrell Owens (he was saying sorry)

Jason Witten (you know it happened)

Tony Romo

Obviously her dad is the only one to make those boobies happy. Creep.

Or maybe she’s just a fucking nutjob.