IDontKnowMuch.com

When there were first reports of pill bottles being “strewn around” the apartment where Heath Ledger’s body was found, I thought that seemed a little weird. Like, who commits suicide and then throws pill bottles all over the room before dying. But these were just internet rumors, so my inner sceptic was calmed. That is, until today.

OK Magazine reports that the massage therapist who found Ledger’s body made three phone calls BEFORE calling 911. Who were the calls to? Well, Mary-Kate Olsen, of course.

NYPD originally said the masseuse, Diana Wolozin, made two calls to the Olsen twin before calling 911, but later changed its statement after taking a closer look at Ledger’s phone records. (All of Wolozin’s calls were made from Ledger’s cell phone.)

I think we all know what this means: Mary-Kate Olsen and this masseuse were involved in an elaborate plot to kill Heath Ledger. Its the only possible answer.