IDontKnowMuch.com

Sparked by recent pictures of Marisa Tomei and Drew Barrymore, this week’s “Topic of the Week” will focus on older women/MILF’s who we may have thought were hot years ago and just realized they didn’t really stop being hot. Especially for their age.



Phatty: Those screen caps of Marisa Tomei that we posted before were very excite. I like-a you! I don’t really think I ever thought Ms. Tomei was THAT hot, but she’s definitely ridiculous for being 43 years old. All around she impressed me and I actually felt sorry that Philip Seymour Hoffman’s ass was sweating all over her. They must have paid her millions just for that scene. Another surprise is definitely Drew Barrymore. This one is a little different for me because I don’t really think she’s that attractive, but she still has a pretty nice body for being 33 years old. And does anyone remember Jennifer Tilly? I don’t think I ever really forgot about her (who can forget that sex line operator voice), but she turns 50 this year and god bless her for still bringing the twins out. Granted she only makes appearances at poker tournaments, but I’d still think she was just as hot as many of the 30 years actresses/models/etc out there.



Jim: I’m going to blow your mind on this one, Panama Red. Sure I could go with some 30-40 year olds and call them “older”, but since I’m 30 thats not really true. You saying that Drew Barrymore has a “pretty nice body for being 33 years old” makes me want to jump in front of a bus. And Im not even a woman. I think the MILF team begins and ends with Diane Lane. She is so unbelievably hot. Those scenes in “Irresistable” or “Inscrutable” or whatever that movie with Richard Gere was called were awesome, especially the one in the bathroom. But Lane is only 40 or so. You wanna talk about older women who still bring the fastball? Prepare to have your mind blown…….Helen Mirren. Yeah. Stew on that for a minute, sonny. I think she’s like 60. If you can find a woman who played Queen Elizabeth attractive, then you are truly a lover of the older women.



Phatty: Just because you’re 30 doesn’t mean that I can’t call people in their 30’s and 40’s “older.” They are older. Older than me. Older than 90% of the girls that we post pictures of everyday. Older than the girls who don’t wear panties to the club, or if they too don’t wear panties, we at least don’t hear about it.You would probably say “Thats because they’re wiser” but I would come back with “Yes, OLDER and wiser”. You’re move, my friend. (And if there are crotch shots of Helen Mirren out there, this blog is definitely not going to link to that gallery. I’d rather punch a puppy right in the face than view pictures of Queen Elizabeth’s “area.”)



Jim: Oh, look who’s too good to oogle a 63 year old lady who looks like THIS (NSFW). OK, maybe she doesnt look like this now, but she did at one point. And those boobs are still there. Well, just a bit south. But back to the original point of the post. Drew Barrymore is neither hot or older, at least to me. To be a ‘hot older woman’, you have to be at least 40. Another one for my list? Courteney Cox. 43 years old, and she might be hotter now than when ‘Friends’ started in 1994.



Phatty: To be totally honest, I included Drew Barrymore in this list because before I looked her up on IMDB, I thought she was like 48 years old. Thats probably because she’s been in movies since she came out of the womb and also because I’ve never thought she was hot either. Except that these pictures are decent and getting some blog rotation so hey, shameless name dropping here is fine. Deal with it. As far as Courtney Cox, she definitely plays up her sexiness on “Dirt”. Did you see the scene last season where she diddled herself? Definitely hotter than seeing both her and Rachel kiss in another episode, or appear on Friends together for year and years. But let’s get back to your “Over 40 Hot Crowd”. What about Monica Bellucci? She’s not afraid to show the twins (and more) at 43 years old and I’m all for it.



Jim: Oh, she’s definitely on the team. And yeah….she’s been naked in just about every movie she’s ever been in. So thats good. Ya know who else I love? Jami Gertz. A Chicagoan and 42 years old, Jami was awesome in the mid to late 80s and now is playing a mom on some sitcom. I think its called ‘Still Standing’, but its basically a rip-off of ‘King of Queens’, where Jami plays the hot chick strangely married to the big dumb moron. But Jami has a very strong soccer mom thing going on. And its really hot.



Phatty: Ohh definitely. Although she’s kind of like Leah Remini, sometimes she’s hot and sometimes she’s not. Leah might be a nice addition, too, but I’m too lazy to see if she’s over 40. She’s had her definite up’s and down’s especially on the King of Queens, but thats mostly because she was pregnant. I also thought for a second about Megan Mullally (aka Karen Walker from “Will and Grace”) but then I slapped myself and move on to Sandra Bullock. I don’t care what anyone says – the scene they play almost every day on TBS for “Miss Congeniality” where she’s walking out of the airline hangar, thats hot. The girl’s 44 and I don’t care if she worked out or starved herself to get into that dress, I applaud you, Ms. Bullock.



Jim: OH……fucking great call on Megan Mullally. I love her. And not in the way girls say it, like ‘Oh, she’s so funny on Will and Grace’…..no, I mean in it the way that you know how I mean it……like I would absolutely ruin her if given the opportunity. I would also request…..nay, demand….that she talk in the high-pitched Karen Walker voice during the act. (Wait, am I giving away the fact that I know way too much about Will and Grace? I mean, Im not worried about being seen as gay–its just a horrible, horrible show)……..Anyway, I also love Heather Locklear. My friend Neil and I have stupid conversations a lot, and I have always told him that if I were the general manager of the hot chick league, I would have a ‘starting five’ –currently Scarlett Johannson, Jessica Biel, Diora Baird, Rosario Dawson, and Anne Hathaway–with one older woman as the ‘coach’. That coach used to be Locklear, but I think now it has to be Diane Lane. Especially since Heather looks a little cracky lately. Way too thin.



Phatty: I’m glad you verified my Megan Mullally claim. I was beginning to think I had lost my touch. I, too, would require the hit pitched voice and the chest bumping that made Karen Walker that much more attractive. I also agree about Locklear although she was on some CBS show not that long ago (the one with David Spade that isn’t that funny) and she looked damn good. I almost forgot about Elizabeth Hurley, too. She’s never had a really good movie, but she definitely needs to be on the list. Also, Ashley Judd and Kylie Minogue are worth mentioning as they both turn 40 this year, too. Kylie has an ass that won’t quit and Ashley seems like the hot mom you’d look at in her khakis at the grocery store and try to determine if your boys would give you shit for banging her or actually be proud of you. I’d say I wouldn’t give a shit.