Filed under: Cameron Diaz, Gerard Butler, Jim | Tags: admissions of beastiality, Cameron Diaz, Gerard Butller, I might have misunderstood, I might of went too far on this one, Jim
According to Us magazine, after being asked by paparazzi if there was any truth to the rumors that he was dating Cameron Diaz, ‘300′ star Gerard Butler said “If I take a dog for a walk, apparently I’m fucking my dog!”
Dude, they were just asking if you were fucking a leggy Hollywood blonde, who many think is hot (not me, but still). Your response to that is to blurt out that you fuck animals? Whoa. Take it down a notch.
Its like when my wife walks in just after I’ve finished masturbating to tranny porn. “What are you doing?”, she’ll scream. And I’ll say, “Well, I wasn’t jerking it to ‘Boys Who Like Chicks with Dicks: Part 7′ if thats what you’re inferring!” In that case, I went too far. All I had to do was answer “Nothing”.
Just like Gerard here. Next time someone asks you if you’re nailing a Hollywood starlet, just say ‘No.’ Don’t get nervous and divulge your need to screw puppies.
Filed under: American Idol, Jim | Tags: American Idol, Carly Smithson, David Archuleta, David Cook, flame me in the comments, HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE DAVID ARCHULETA!!!, Jason Castro, Jim, Kristy Lee Cook, Michael Johns, Syesha Mercado, theres only one good place for a tat on a woman
Michael Johns was eliminated last night, to the shock of just about everyone. While I agree that Johns probably didn’t deserve to be eliminated last night, it is understandable when you think about it. Lets break it down logically.
He really hasn’t wowed the audience in a few weeks. Meanwhile, David Cook has somewhat stolen some of the votes he may have been getting because they are somewhat similar and Cook has been better the last few weeks. Think of it like a political election–certain groups are going to vote for certain candidates. Cook and Johns were both somewhat older, good-looking, rocker types who appealed to a certain audience. While that audience’s votes for Johns and Cook may have been more split in past weeks, the recent success of Cook and the relative poor showing by Johns last week probably caused a lot of those people to switch to Cook, leaving Johns with no ‘voting base’, as it were.
Kristy Lee Cook is the least-talented singer left of the group. I think thats clear. But the thing Kristy has is a defined niche. All the country fans are going to vote for her, and no one else in the competition are going to get the country vote. So she can afford to suck for three or four weeks in a row, because her style is going to appeal to a large group that isn’t voting for anyone else in this competition. Also, it doesn’t hurt that she’s pretty easy on the eyes.
As for the rest of the remaining Idol wannabes, I think its clear that David Archuleta is going to be around until the end. I’m not a big fan of his. But you can’t deny his talent, and he is going to get the ’screaming-little-girl’ vote from here on out. Jason Castro is probably my second-least favorite singer left; but again, women love him. And women are the ones who are going to vote for this damn thing. So I think he’s going to stick around.
I think it says a lot about the flaws of ‘American Idol’ when yesterday’s bottom three–Syesha
Mercado, Michael, and Carly Smithson–were not the three worst pure singers left in the competition. This isn’t a singing competition–its an entertainment contest. People get so upset about the ‘wrong’ person getting voted off because they are a better singer than so-and-so; but they don’t realize this is a popularity contest, not a talent competition.
If I had to choose the bottom three based on talent and entertainment value alone, my picks would be Kristy Lee, Jason, and Syesha, with Kristy Lee getting the boot. But no one is asking me for my opinion. I just write it in a blog.
(Oh, and one more thing…..am I the only one who thinks Carly’s tatoos are horrible? She would be ridiculously hot if it weren’t for all the ink. Her accent drives me crazy, its so sexy. But all the attention is drawn to that arm. Its like she did time at Folsom or something.)
Filed under: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jim, Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds, celebrity breakups | Tags: broken engagements, I love older women, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jim, Mary-Louise Parker, shows I've never seen, Weeds
WENN.com reports that ‘Weeds’ star Mary-Louise Parker has broken off her engagement with co-star Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who is best known for his work on ‘Grey’s Anatomy’:
The pair’s split has been blamed on their “differing lifestyles,” reports the Associated Press, but Parker hopes to remain friends with Morgan.
I don’t know what ‘differing lifestyles’ means, but in my mind when it involves a sexy thing like Mary-Louise, it can only mean that she has decided to go lesbian and have hot, nekkid, lesbian sex with another hot MILF.
Filed under: Britney Spears, Jim, Neil Patrick Harris | Tags: actually I like the NPH, Britney Spears, Doogie Howser MD, How I Met Your Mother, Jim, Neil Patrick Harris, Tara Reid, Will and Grace, Will and Grace sucked
OK magazine is reporting that ‘How I Met Your Mother’ star Neil Patrick Harris was not a fan of his show’s decision to cast Britney Spears:
“I’m in the minority that feels our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed,” Harris said.
Whoa! ‘Stunt casting’! Well, Britney shouldn’t feel that bad. Harris said the same thing about the initial casting of Max Casella on ‘Doogie Howser, MD’ in 1989. Also, she wasn’ the only one he ripped on during this interview. Look out Sean Hayes!:
“However, there might be some other I worry that if they start ‘Will and Grace’-ing us too much, that the show will suffer. We’re all really proud of the content of the show.”
Holy shit! NPH isn’t leaving anyone alone! Spraying to all fields. To think, a fucking gay dude ripping up ‘Will and Grace’. Whats next? Me criticizing porn? Well, thats not quite the same thing. Was that all Harris said? Hell to the no:
Last Monday, the show introduced a “mystery woman” who warns women not to date the single minded Barney, played by Neil Patrick Harris. When asked who he thinks the network may cast to play the woman, Harris replied, “No telling, but based on the stunt casting we’ve done in the past, I’m guessing Tara Reid.”
Wait one second, you fucking hack. I’ll sit back and let you criticize the casting of Britney Spears. I won’t bat an eyelash when you talk shit about ‘Will and Grace’; but when you start to denigrate a class act and an overall great lady like Tara Reid, the fucking star of ‘Body Shots’ for Christs sakes………I simply won’t stand for it.
I will now discontinue my viewing of ‘How I Met Your Mother.’ Then again, I never watched it in the first place.
Filed under: Jim, Naomi Campbell | Tags: Dolemite, Jim, Naomi Campbell, Pam Grier was one fine woman
After being escorted off a British Airways flight this week and apparently assaulting a police officer, supermodel Naomi Campbell had some parting words for her arresters and the assembled crowd, according to The Sun UK:
Now cops claim she called a WPC a “white ****” and a “white s**g” as she was dragged off the LA-bound jet in handcuffs. The police source said Naomi continued, screaming: “f***ing white honkeys” at the officer and her colleagues.
“Honkeys?” WTF? Who does she think she is, Dolemite? Other sources tell IDKM that Campbell later called the police “jive turkeys” and told them that she was “gonna let ‘em know that Naomi is back on the scene, and that Naomi is my name, and fuckin’ up mothafuckas is my game!”
Honestly, though…..when is someone gonna knock this bitch the fuck out? She’s a 110-pound supermodel from England and she acts like she’s Lennox Lewis, punching people at will. Hopefully her next assault will occur in the states and she gets to meet some real bitches at county.
Filed under: Benji Madden, Good Charlotte, Jim, Paris Hilton | Tags: all those bands sound the same, Benji Madden, disease-ridden skanks, get off my lawn you damn kids, Good Charlotte, Jim, Paris Hilton
People magazine is reporting that Paris Hilton, America’s most overused export, is telling everyone she is in love with boyfriend and Good Charlotte group member Benji Madden.
“I’ve never felt so happy and in love,” Hilton wrote in her MySpace celebrity blog. “He’s such an amazing guy and life has never been better.”
The article also claims that Hilton has been touring with Good Charlotte for over a month.
“”It’s so much fun going to their shows every night, I now know every song by heart,” Hilton wrote. “All the guys in the band are so cool and sweet and it’s been such an amazing and memorable experience.”
Wait a minute……Good Charlotte is still on tour? I know I’m getting old, but the last song I remember of theirs having any popularity was released in 2002. And even that sucked.
Also, why is a member of a relatively well-known and successful music group dating Paris Hilton? First of all, she’s corroded with disease. Second of all, shouldn’t this guy be getting his fill of hot groupie ass? Why is he bringing this waste of oxygen on tour with him? Maybe he thinks he has the inside track to marrying her and thus being entitled to a piece of that Hilton fortune.
But Benji…..is that small chance at money worth having your penis decay and fall off? I think not, my friend. Think this through.
Filed under: American Idol, Brad Pitt | Tags: American Idol, Angelina must have a magic vagina, Brad Pitt, insane overreactions, Jim
Us magazine reports that the scene at this week’s taping of ‘American Idol Gives Back’ was insane, especially when Brad Pitt stopped by to make an appearance.
When the actor, 44, hit the stage at Hollywood’s Kodak Theater, the crowd wouldn’t stop screaming, one attendee tells Usmagazine.com……Idol floor manager Debbie McVickers stopped the show because the actor’s mic wasn’t working. As she tried to attach his mic, she joked, “I just needed a reason to touch him!” Pitt — whose efforts to rebuild New Orleans were recognized on the show — then erupted out in laughter.
Well no shit. The people in that crowd went apeshit when fucking Sanjaya was “singing” last season; when an honest-to-goodness movie star and icon shows up on the same stage, I’m surprised half of the crowd members’ skulls didn’t explode. Its a miracle that the people in the audience didn’t all experience spontaneous combustion simultaneously.
Filed under: Jessica Biel, Jim, Justin Timberlake, Madonna | Tags: expensive gifts, Jessica Biel, Jim, Justin Timberlake, Madonna, Madonna won an Oscar?
The Sun UK is reporting that Justin Timberlake recently purchased an expensive necklace for his girlfriend, Jessica Biel, because she was upset he was spending time with Madonna:
JT has been at the Queen of Pop’s beck and call over the past year while collaborating on her forthcoming album ‘Hard Candy’. And movie beauty Jessica has been a little put out by their close working relationship……..So to make it up to Jessica he snapped up the sparkling white gold and emerald chain from top jeweller H Stern.
Listen, I know all women are somewhat insecure and many are prone to jealousy. But you cannot tell me that Jessica Biel, who looks like this…………
……..is feeling jealous because her boyfriend, a guy who could probably fuck anyone he wants, is working with a woman that now looks like this……….
Don’t get me wrong…..Madonna looks pretty good for a 52-year old lady who will be a grandmother in about a week. But unless he has a GILF fetish, I’m pretty sure Justin has better options than a woman who was at her apex while he was still in dipers.
(*–Dick in a Box picture included because I couldn’t bring myself to post a picture of Justin with his shirt off or something……its bad enough I like his music.)
Filed under: Heath Ledger, Michelle Williams | Tags: he cant do that!, Heath Ledger, I might have misunderstood, Jim, Michelle Williams
Us Magazine is reporting that Heath Ledger’s father, Kim, has told anyone that will listen that Heath’s ex-wife and daughter will be “taken care of” after news has come out that all of Heath’s assets are to be distributed to his father and sisters instead of his young daughter, Matilda.
What a jerk! I really can’t believe how brazen Kim is being about this. First of all, is he so greedy that he wants all of his dead son’s money? Secondly, he is willing to “take care of” his son’s ex-wife and his grandaughter for a few lousy dollars? Third, who is going to do it? Is he going to hire someone to take them out, or will he do it himself? Finally, how can the Austrailian and American police and investigative bureaus just sit idly by and let these threats go unpunished? I’m flabbergasted.
Lets go to the article for more info:
“Matilda is an absolute priority and Michelle is an integral part of our family,” Kim Ledger said in a statement. “They will be taken care of and that’s how Heath would want it to be.”
Oh. Maybe Kim means that Williams and her daughter will be taken care of financially, as in all of their needs being met. Hmm. This is awkward. I really have to stop jumping to conclusions.
Filed under: Jim, The Sopranos | Tags: film rumors, I'm such a sucker, Jim, Sopranos, Sopranos movie
Today, rumors are swirling that very early pre-production on a ‘Sopranos’ full length film has begun. From Film Drunk via Gawker:
Recently Nick D’Urso, manager of New Jersey’s Satin Dolls gentleman’s club, got a call from HBO asking him to hold off on his planned renovations. You see, Satin Dolls also doubles as the Bada Bing strip club from HBO’s stunning, somber, and definitively over mob series The Sopranos.
D’Urso, being the New Jersey Italian he is, probably said something along the lines of ‘What? Hold off on the reservations? Fuck you, and fuck your mother!’ But I’m just guessing. The Gawker post goes on:
D’Urso swears that he heard legit info that a Sopranos movie could be in the works and HBO is making sure its top locations stay as much the same as possible.
As a viewer of the show from episode one to the end, I would greatly welcome a Sopranos movie. The ending was one of the most memorable in television history, whether you liked it or not. For me, I initially felt cheated by the ending, like David Chase owed me something in exchange for being immersed in his creation for 6 seasons. But after analyzing the ending a bit, I realized that it was absolutely fantastic.
That 2-3 minute scene made the viewer feel like Tony must feel every minute of every day. ‘Who’s that guy?’…….’Are those black guys who just came in the same ones who tried to whack me 3 years ago?’…….’Why is that guy in the Members Only jacket looking over here?’…….’Why is he going to the bathroom?’…….’Where is Meadow? Is she OK?’…..and so on. And perhaps the quick cut to black is the precise moment where the movie will begin. Maybe it was Chase’s plan all along.
In any case, I’m a sucker Mr. Chase. I’m on board if you do it. Especially if you get me a Meadow nude scene.
